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Journal entries from 02/13/03 - 01/22/03

02/13/03

We got some not so good news yesterday. Jackson's hearing loss is going to be permanent and he is going to have to wear hearing aides for the rest of his life. Obviously, we aren't happy about it, but realize that if this is the worst thing we have after all of this is over, we will be very fortunate. He has a 35% hearing loss in both ears and will have to wear the larger hearing aides that go behind the ear and go into the ear canal. The doctor said that the chemo had damaged the inner ear. We will let all of you know the test results as they come in, but we are all very excited that radiation is over and as far as we know all of his treatments are over. We need the rest of the results back, but he had finished his protocol that we started in June. Jackson and Staci are ready to start spending some time at home and living a more normal life.

02/11/03

Jackson is doing very well and is closing in on the end of his radiation treatment. Staci and Jackson are having longer days right now because, along with getting radiation he is also having many hours of testing each day to see where he is at the end of all the treatments. We are certainly praying that all of the prayers and treatments that he has had will all come to a positive ending. The tests are including hearing, CAT scan, bone marrow, many blood tests, kidney test, and more scans that we don't even understand. He is still ready to go each and every morning, even though they drive up to Spokane every morning and then turn around and come home. Wyatt heads up with them some of the time, but gets rather bored in the hospital all day. Both sets of grandparents have helped in baby-sitting and even going up to Spokane with Jackson. We will let all of you know how the test results go, but want to thank you all so much for being beside us all of this time. We can only hope that all of this is coming to an end and that some day soon we will be signing off for good, but we will never forget how many people let us into their thoughts and prayers.

02/05/03

Everything is still going good for Jackson. He goes to Spokane every week day for radiation and will do that until next Tuesday. He got sick several times on both of the Monday's, but other than that he has handled the radiation very well. I think that Staci and Jackson are getting pretty tired of the two hour drive between here and Spokane. Staci's dad has even drove Jackson up there a few times, but today he is going to get a new hip, so I guess he is off the hook for a while. Jackson is starting to get his eye lashes and eye brows back, but no hair on his head yet. I know he looks quite often to see if it is coming. He is also still putting on the miles on his four-wheeler. In so many ways we have been blessed throughout all of this. Every time that a thought goes through our head of how unlucky we are, we meet or talk to someone who has a more severe problem or sicker child than we do. I had lunch with Tami Skow earlier this week and her 9 month old daughter is going through absolute hell and it looks like it will be a long time before it gets better. In Seattle we found that there were so many children that were fighting one form of cancer or another and they didn't complain or feel sorry for themselves, they just went about their day with the most enjoyment  that their pain would allow. It gives us strength to know what the mind and body can endure.

01/28/03

Jackson finished his second round of radiation today. Each day Staci and Jackson are driving the two hours to Spokane and then have radiation for fifteen minutes tops and then they drive home. Yesterday was his first round and he did get sick a few times afterwards and then again this morning around 4:00 a.m. We are amazed at how strong and understanding he is. This morning he walked in our room and said "daddy I just got sick". I thought the worst and was mentally ready to change the bedding and his clothes. Instead he had already dumped his bucket that stays by his bed and rinsed the bucket and was starting to rinse his mouth. He said he just wanted to let me know. I put him back to bed and lay there for some time in complete admiration that a six year old handled a miserable experience with such maturity. His skin is still very sore to touch and now the radiation spots are more like leather than flesh, but he doesn't complain much and is always ready for another four-wheeler ride or the next game. His little brother Wyatt is also stepping up to the plate and does his best to watch out for Jackson. He makes sure everyone washes their hands and takes off their shoes when they enter the house. Jackson is starting to grow very small eye lashes and eye brows, but no hair yet on his head. We are all very happy to be together right now and I think all of us have re-evaluated what is important to us in the last seven months. I don't think these values will ever be forgotten, but we hope that all of the pain and suffering will be just a distant memory of the one bad year that we fought the toughest battle of our lives.

01/22/03

Jackson and Wyatt had a wonderful Christmas and it seems like all of the toys we got rid of to help sterilize the house were just replenished. It has been truly wonderful to have the entire family together and dealing with everyday life like a normal family. Wyatt and Jackson have been getting on each others nerves a little, but doing very well. Jackson has put many miles on his four-wheeler and it has been great for him to get out of the house and not use too much energy. Jackson is in Spokane today for another check-up. His red blood cell count is low and will be getting blood today, with the poor weather they will most likely have to stay in Spokane tonight and come home tomorrow. They were prepared for something like this so it won't be much of an issue. Jackson will start radiation next Monday and have to have 12 daily sessions, each lasting roughly an hour. So Staci and Jackson will be traveling a lot and staying in motels quite a bit too. It won't be fun, but it is all part of the protocol. Jackson's skin is extremely sore to touch right now and if anyone or thing rubs or touches him firmly he really hurts. We hope that this is short lived with him being a rough and tumble six year old. His hearing is also the worst it has ever been and we hope that it will come back when his hair starts to grow back. It makes sense that his hearing is worse since his hair has all fallen out and the tiny hairs in the ears is needed for vibrations in your hearing. His appetite is slowly coming back and so is his energy. We are so looking forward to the day when we can say remember when Jackson was sick, look at him now.